There's a selective bond between my friends that occurs that begins with comparing ourselves to other girls around campus. A product of our own societal downfalls, we can't help but compare ourselves to other women we see. Although many have called us "pretty" and we take those compliments with 6 tablespoons of salt, it still lingers in us to judge ourselves, both negatively towards ourselves and harshly towards others, on a daily basis. This kind of dissonance is learned early on; other women are seen as competition for our own success stories. My friends often lament that they wish they had the time, or worse, were vain enough to dress well for school in the morning; to throw on a pair of Steve Madden combat boots they know are far from comfortable and still do it all in the name of fashion, amen.
The "girl hate," as modern third wave girl power circles have put it, needs to stop. When we create a culture within ourselves that belittles fellow women for being happy and confident, something many of us aren't and are pushed not to be, it further drives the point to those at a higher level of societal influence that women need to be pushed to feel bad to buy the new cruddy shade of coral lipstick, the fat burner, the product that takes the culture out of your hair. Over time, I realized what this reliance on make up meant for me and others: nothing. Women do not need to dress themselves up to impress anyone, nor do you need to care as to why they do it. I am now happy to say that when I see a woman who took effort and time to look a way that makes her happy and comfortable that I am no longer jealous or bitter. We should celebrate the hard earned confidence of women, not destroy it. We are only building up yet another superficial patriarchal infrastructure that can be dismantled easily with the power of kindness and forgiveness towards self body image.
Stop judging women for doing what they want with their bodies.
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